The Big Four-Oh!

Last week included a milestone day for me.

It started out with a bang when I stepped out of bed,
tripped over a gift placed there to be the first thing I saw on my special day,
landed solidly on my belly with an OOOOF!,
banged my chin hard on the ground,
and knocked over 3 vases in the process!

Celebrating 40 with my own special flair!

Hey, at least I'm used to spectacular face-plants and as a bonus, it wasn't in public.

Otherwise, it was an absolutely splendid day! I had breakfast at the beach. Favorite. Spent the day at the spaaaaaaaaahhhh. Massage, facial, steam room, slices of cucumber on my eyes, the whole enchilada. Favorite. Delicious dinner at a fancy-schmancy place. Favorite. And, a bunch of my girlfriends stole me away, made me wear a sparkly tiara and we enjoyed a lovely harbor cruise and dinner. Super favorite!

Seriously, ladies, where would we be without our girlfriends? I think I'd have quit a long time ago without mine! My girls encourage and exhort me. They make me laugh, oftentimes at myself. They know my life, joys, struggles, strengths and weaknesses. They know me, see me, and still love me! They tell me when I'm off-base or flat out wrong, when I need to grow up, when I must turn my heinie around and apologize, and help me to forgive myself when I blow it. They wrap their arms through mine, cheerlead, and help me get through the hard stuff of life. And, they let me be and do that for them as well. Shoot, I love my girls!



In between laughs, they asked what I wanted this next year. What is God doing? How is my heart? Good questions.

This next year, I want to go to Ethiopia (hopefully in June) and serve. I want to finish writing a book I've been working on for a while. I want to sing more. I want to build more friendships with women, to be an encourager of my sisters in Christ. I want to be a better woman, wife, and friend. I want to be changed by God, to learn where I'm blind, to see my sins and weaknesses, and to give them to Him who has the power to transform. I want to seek out those I've wounded and repent of my wrongdoing. I don't want to reach Heaven having not made amends with those I've sinned against. I want to learn to trust God with every facet of life, to be more in love with Jesus, and to live in constant communion with Him. I want more of Jesus.

This is the verse for this year, maybe this decade:

"The LORD your God is with you,
He is mighty to save.
He will take great delight in you,
He will quiet you with His love,
He will rejoice over you with singing."

Zephaniah 3:17

How rad is that?



The biggest gifts of my life:

Muffin


Meatball


Pookie


Sweetpea


Cupcake

Ok, so here I go... Into a new decade...



Here's what I think. Life is rich with blessings. Friends are such a gift. God is so very, spectacularly, beyond-my-wildest-imagination good. He has been with me every single step of the way through the big, big highs, and the stinky, rotten lows. He delights in me. Sings over me. Rejoices over me as His beloved. And laughs with me when I trip and fall flat on my face with an OOOOOF! So, come what may...



Bring it on!

Insecure Much?

Beth Moore. Don't you want to have a one-on-one coffee date with her? She seems like the bosom friend type. I just know we'd get along great.

My friend, Karen, gave me this book. I know! Isn't that uncool?! Nice hint, K! Jeez Louise!

(I'm just giving Karen gas for fun. She is actually one of those people who is always others-centered and thoughtful. She's the kind of person that you can be really, really, real with. She doesn't shy away from the raw stuff of life and doesn't expect anyone to be Paul or Penny Perfect. I absolutely love people like Karen with whom my soul can relax.)

OK, so this book that Karen got to me because she apparently thinks I'm hobbling through life crippled by anxiety, self-consciousness, and disquietude in spirit...

Pfff! *snort* As if!



Turns out, she's right.



Wow.

I didn't know I was insecure. Seriously. I have always felt pretty confident, you know? Solid in the Love of God the Father, OK about myself, loved by family, and generally safe in friendships (barring a few yucky ones, but most of those have been healed over the years, praise Jesus!). But, reading So Long, Insecurity was like getting harpooned.

For me, it went like this: Read. Enjoy. Read more. Gasp! Ouch! Put it down. Walk away. Think. Pray. Walk back. Repeat.

"Some of us never seek healing from God for our insecurities because we feel like we don't fit the profile. We think insecurity only looks one way - mousy, maybe even inept - and that's not exactly who we see in the mirror. At least not once the mascara's on. And it certainly is not the woman we present to the public. Insecurity's best cover is perfectionism. That's where it becomes an art form."




So Long, Insecurity is filled with rich wisdom about the sources of our insecurity, how it plays out in our daily lives, and how to be free of it.

It's a messy book. It totally wrecked me - in a good way... The kind of wrecking that needed to happen. I highly recommend that you don't sit down to it without a box of tissues and a plan to redo your makeup when you're done.

But, read it. You'll be glad you did. I am.

Thanks, Beth! Thanks, Karen!