A Slammin' Saturday Night

Last Saturday night, Sweetpea got a doozie owie.

Long story short, her right middle finger got slammed in a glass door which...



acted like a guillotine leaving her with a compound fracture between the last knuckle and the nail. We learned later was very nearly an amputation!

Zonked out waiting for x-ray results
with her Nana Blankie and her two teddybears

Poor little sweetie! I'm not going to share all the disgustivo pictures that Haus took of her finger all bloody and sticking out at a horribly unnatural angle because EEWWWWWW! (It's a Man Thing.) But, here's the sad x-ray.



As usual, Sweetpea was incredibly charming and hysterical at the ER, cracking up the nurses and the doctor. The surgery was brutal, though. I'm still beating myself up about not listening to the Holy Spirit when I knew He told me to choose sedation. Holding her through it was punishment to last a lifetime.

Right at the worst part, when the surgeon was stitching through her fingernail causing pressure against the severed bone (which the local anaesthetic didn't numb) and intense pain, she shouted at him,

"FIRST of all, that HURTS me!
And, SECOND of all...

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"

Oh, my little love cannot help being funny, even in the worst pain of her life!

"I want you to STOP that immediately!
And, I want to go HOME
ABSOLUTELY immediately!"

It was "super no fun", but she did beautifully. Her finger is thankfully intact, although looking remarkly Frankensteiny. Prayerfully, her fingernail was not damaged too severely and will grow back.

Very excited about her cool bandage.

(Funny for the Naughty Files:
In the morning, she was so excited to show off to her baby sister.

"Cupcake! Look! This is my owie!
The doctor did a surgery
and it really dammit hurt!")

Cupcake's New Braids

WELCOME to the scary hair experiment!

Being a novice at styling my precious little Cupcake's hair, I thought I'd try a fairly complicated, huge-time-investment, but potentially long-lasting hairstyle that very well may end in disaster! I'm wild that way.

Anyway, you mamas of African babes can commiserate with me about how high maintainance our sweeties' beautiful hair can be. Cupcake's is fine and soft (versus thick and coarse), so intricate hairstyles are a little frustrating because they just don't last very long.

Enter the BRAIDS or DREADS idea.

Since I'm a closet OCD, A-type personality, I then spent hours on the internet researching as well as asking tons of detailed questions of whomever would give me the time of day. Some people were afraid of the white lady wanting to touch and inspect their beautiful cornrows, dreads, or braids and would scamper away. But I run fast and I'm not afraid of tackling.

I foolishly thought that I could complete the entire thing in one sitting, but after 3 hours on Day One and only barely half-way done, my hands begged for mercy. And Cupcake was completely over being duct taped to her toddler chair, too.

On Day Two, I braided another few inches before calling it quits. That's when I realized that I should've been taking pictures. Duh!

OK, so we're starting quite a ways in, but don't worry, you'll catch up quickly. You're a fast learner.

Remember to always start with cleany-clean hair (Über important!) that's been conditioned well and picked out.





Here's a "Before" pic from the church picnic. (Terrible photo, but she's adorable anyway.)



Cupcake is so cute. She loves her hair and will occasionally pass by a mirror, appreciate her beauty, and say to herself,

"I'm wockin' da fwo!"
Translation: "I'm rockin' the 'fro!"

So, here are pictures starting on our final day (PraiseGodAlmighty!) of braiding.



This is what I did with the unfinished part until we were done. Ponytail. Twistie curls. Easy peasy.



This is the product I used. I highly recommend that you use a really good hair product, especially when you're doing a detailed hairstyle. It'll make the finished style look way better and it'll last a lot longer. Plus, Loc Butter smells awesome!



Step 1: Part the hair down the middle front to back. Straight parts are a must. (Read: Do what I say and not what I do. I actually have Straight Part Inability Disorder, SPID for short.)

Step 2: Part a row to braid and clip back the rest. These rows are about 1/2 inch wide.



Step 3: Separate a section in your row. Again, I'd mention the importance of straight parts here, but you know the drill. Use a dab of the Loc Butter and braid away.



At the end of each braid, twist a little curlie cue just because they're sweet.



Step 4: Repeat until you want to impale yourself.



Step 5: Resist the urge to just shave the rest of your munchkin's head when your hands start to cramp up into claws. Remember the stylist who told you she would only charge $350 and pat (as well as you can) yourself on the back for choosing the Do It Yourself Method.

*Tip: Do NOT consume alcohol at any point during the hair styling process. Stay strong.



Step 6: Gather up into cutie patootie ponytails. Let your little one basque in the beauty!





New morning hair routine: Spritz heavily with leave in conditioner. Scoop up about a quarter-sized amount of coconut oil (organic, unrefined, unbleached, un-everything) and run it over every strand and her scalp. Ponytails. Done. 3 minutes tops.



Style time: 9 1/2 hours over 3 days and nary a cuss word was uttered.

I'll let you know how it fares.



Is she killer cute, or what?!

Cupcake's Twisties Hairstyle

*As always, start with clean, well-conditioned hair.



Step 1: Part the hair and pony tail. OK, don't flip out. You can do this... Start by dividing the hair into three sections from side to side. Then divide each of those sections into five (or more if you're really brave) sections from front to back. Ponytail as you go using a little Carol's Daughter Hair Milk or Loc Butter in each section.







Step 2: Starting on one side, twist the back section and the front section and band together at the middle section. Repeat on the two outside sections on each side, but not the very middle section.

*Twists are made by separating a pony into two parts, twisting both hair sections in one direction (let's just say right), and then wrapping the opposite direction (left) to make a rope. Did I explain that well? Where's a web cam when you need one?



You should now have two ponytails on each side of the head (ignoring the middle row) that are gathered at the middle section. If you're confused, join the club... I mean, you're welcome to email me and I'll try to walk you through it.

Step 3: Comb out the outside two ponytails (the ones by the ears) thoroughly and then twist each and band together with the next one in.

Are you following?



Step 4: Comb those ponytails out thoroughly and twist each.

You should now have five ponytails. Four making a diamond around the one in the dead center.



Step 5: Gather all four twists to the center and comb out the final ponytail thoroughly. Hang in there. You're almost done. Put on another Charlie & Lola episode and you'll be home free!



Step 6: Curlie cue tiny little sections (with a dab of Hair Milk on each) to make a cute little ribbon pile of hair on top!



And SHAZAM! There you have it!



This style lasted on Cupcake for about 2 weeks.



And, personally, it's one of my favorites! (And so is my Cupcake!)



Style time: 1 hour

Hairstyle Ideas

First, keep in mind that I'm learning how to care for and style my Cupcake's hair purely by trial and error.

Second, a couple of product recommendations:

Carol's Daughter Hair Milk is very moisturizing, works great and smells even better. The only caveat is you've got to be careful not to use too much or you'll have a goopy mess on your hands!



Style #1 is pretty easy... I wish I could get those parts even and razor-sharp! If anyone has a trick or suggestion, please fill me in!



*Always start with clean hair. Wash thoroughly. Leave conditioner on for 5-10 minutes and rinse. Cupcake loves wearing a cute shower cap.



How cute are these? Shiny Shack carries them.

I love Carol's Daughter products. We just got CD's "A Magical Beauty" hair set. How adorable is that?



Step 1: Part the hair into equal sections and ponytail. You can do it. Just think "pie". Then, flip each ponytail inside out (separate in the middle and tuck the hair through) so that the braids lay down flat. (You can skip the flip - That should be a rap song! - if you put a few cute beads on the end of each braid.)

Step 2: Braid each pony and then twist the end. Voila! Easy peasy!

Cupcake wore this style for about 2 weeks. I think for little ones with coarser and thicker hair it would last even longer.

Styling time: Approx. 40 minutes, but I work slowly.




Style #2 is much easier than it looks.

*Again, always start with squeeky clean, well conditioned hair. I always style Cupcake's hair when it's wet partly because it's easier and looks smoother and partly because of my rebellious nature. :)



Step 1: Part the hair. Start by dividing down the middle from ear to ear. Then part each half into five (or more if you have the chutzpah for it!) sections front to back. Ponytail each section. Add Hair Milk as you go so everything stays silky smoothe.



Step 2: Starting at the front from one side gather one ponytail to the next and band together. Repeat until you have one large ponytail at the other side of the head.

You can also braid or twist each section to the next, comb out thoroughly and then repeat. The hairstyle lasts a lot longer that way.



Step 3: Repeat in reverse on the back side.



Step 4: Braid or twist the last section and end with a little curlie cue.



Ta da! Presto Cutie-o!



And, a big THANK YOU to our hair model, Cupcake! Isn't she a sweetie?

Style time: Approx. 30 minutes

An Oldie But Goodie... Vanidad Goeth Before La Caída

Just for laughs... here's a rerun of a funny that happened last year.



Out to dinner in Cancún with my muchacho caliente, our waiter shyly asked me

"Are you a model?"



which put a little blush on my cheeks and some wind in my sails...

"Oh no, no, no... Gracias, señor!"

Then he put his hands out in the "I once caught a fish this big" position about nine inches on either side of his hips



and asked...




"Plus size?"







I didn't cry. Although it would have been awesome to make a huge scene bursting into tears and running out of the restaurant just for fun...



Seriously, though,

I'm boycotting that whole country now.

Forever.

That'll show 'im.

The Bride

There's been a lot of discussion lately about whether or not ditching Church in favor of an "It's Just Me And God" philosophy is really the wisest thing.

Pastor Lance Pittluck proposed that all the people he knew who got burned or burnt out and left Church all-together (not joined another fellowship of believers) and chose to work out their faith alone, pretty soon found themselves fading out of relationship with Christ Jesus entirely. Have you known people who walked away from the Church? What happened to them? What was their life like 10 years later?

Pastor Ray Hollenbach opened up a discussion about the same issue on his excellent blog, Students of Jesus.

And, truthfully, that kind of talk really bakes my noodle, because here's the thing.

The Bride is kind of a... you know what!

OK, I know I'm not supposed to say that, but it's true.

I've never known meaner, more horrible, more despicably cruel people than the lovely Bride of Christ. Have you? Maybe it's just me and a few friends who've shared their experiences, but those emotional and spiritual scars many of us have from head to toe... They're from the razor-sharp talons and scorching tongues of various members of that resplendent Bride. Devastating relationship explosions, betrayals, back-stabbings, slanderous gossip, intentional injuring, etc... Guess who's usually at the epicenter of such disasters?

You got it! Christians!



I bet you know what I'm talking about. And, it's safe to say that you've likely been through it a time or two as well.

Christians are rotten. Seriously, they're a horrible group of people. They make up their own rules and call it "righteousness", they condescend, lie, manipulate, condemn, form cliques, reject, cheat, steal, seek glory and fame for themselves, are full of pride, and all the while twisting Scripture to justify their actions. They use the Bible as a weapon of mass destruction. Christians shred the whoowee out of others. They're just plain mean.



What a beauty, huh?

Here's what's amazing to me... Jesus loves His Bride. He is deeply passionate about Her.

Think about that. It's crazy love. Not convinced? Read Song of Solomon.

What's more, we Christians, all of us, not just the viler and meaner ones, are still in process of being shaped and molded to better reflect our Lord. The Bride will not be fully radiant and dazzling until She stands before Him.

So, what do we do with the Church until then? What should we do with all Her horrible people, disfunction, abuse, and misrepresentation of God Himself? What should we feel about those wretched, hateful Christians (especially remembering that I am one of them)?

I have a sneaking suspicion that it's the hard answer.



I think it might be about forgiveness. Compassion. Love. I think it might be about not giving up on living in relationship and community with other believers even though we are guaranteed to get burned.



What do you think?

Smelly Good

I love being a mother.

Sweetpea, "Mama-mama-mama, come smell this.
It smells beauuuutiful,
like princess baby powder lilac whipped cream perfume!
It's your bathroom smelly-good spray that I put on my pillow.
Oops! No, don't sniff over there.

That's why I needed the smelly-good...

'Cause it's actually my barf from yesterday."



Awesome.

(P.S. - I actually use Thymes Eucalyptus. You can get it here. And, it does smell beauuuuutiful!)