Tuesday, May 25, 2010

One Fleshedness... Not For The Faint of Heart

Haus and I were out in the desert last weekend with family for our cousin's wedding.

It was so beautiful! The bride and groom were absolutely stunning, especially set against the dramatic backdrop of the lush palm trees and fierce desert mountains. Their joy was just as breathtaking.

Family and friends looked on with emotion and smiles. The vows. The kiss. The dance. Tender words and tears. Funny toasts. Memories. Laughter. Love.

Mother, Auntie Jean, Grams, Papa, Poppy, and Uncle Don

Me with cousins Candy and Coco

It was a time of rejoicing for this lovely couple who left behind their singleness to become "one flesh".

Isn't one-fleshedness such a strange and wonderful thing? Marriage, the reflection of Christ and the Church, is both infused with beauty and fraught with pain.

The friendship, togetherness, shared laughter, tears, silliness, inside jokes, creeping separateness, misunderstandings, disagreements, hurt, blaming, forgiveness, make-up sex, appreciation, losses, thrills, babies, miscarriages, financial gain, the bottom falling out, exhaustion, vacations, friends, sudden deaths, sleepless nights, anniversaries, celebrations, silence, peace, grace, and on and on.

It's an epic journey filled with dangers, battles, sacrifices, victories, tragedy, doldrums, and intrigue. Why did no one tell us this? Did they and we just didn't listen? Maybe it's just me, but it seems that most young couples dive head-first into marriage blissfully unaware of the depth of the wonder and happiness, the challenges and suffering ahead of them.

Have you ever wanted to stand up during a wedding and shout,



I have.

I suspect many have. Those who've been broken and come a hair's breadth away from divorce as we have (more than once) have likely barely withstood calling out like Galdalf the Grey,

"Fly, you fools!"

And yet, with all of marriage's struggles and sweetness, the mysterious one-fleshedness, the agony and the ecstasy of it, is worth it.

It is so worth it.

Watching my cousins, the bride and groom gazing deeply into each other's eyes with excitement and happiness, my heart could not help but respond to their joy with my own for them.

Have a happy life, sweet cousins. Love each other well. Pray together. Endure together. Rejoice together. Never stop choosing sweetness and love. Even when it gets impossibly hard. That's when it's about to get so much better and richer than before.

Remember, marriage is not for the faint of heart.

Here's Haus, doing what we did for the rest of the wedding weekend.
A whole lot of nothing. Together. Nice!


  1. Brill. Absolutamente. I love the picture of me kissing your hands!

  2. Wow - I love MP's comment!! Awww..

    I also love to read your posts, your honesty is so refreshing!! Thank you! Lor

  3. HAHA re: "fly your fools!" you are soooo funny laurie, and so very insightful! so true that marriage is not for the faint of heart. seems like all the great things require something of us (friendship, motherhood, adoption, a rich spiritual life)... and the things bought cheap and 'for free' are just ... junk.

  4. Laurie,

    Truer words were never spoken. As another couple who have been a hair's breadth from divorce, I can also vouch that marriage is not for the faint of heart. My wise father always reminds me that love is a choice. If all that kept marriages together were "feelings", we'd all be outta there before the start of the second inning. ;) Often when we "choose" to love (even if we don't feel like it), our feelings soon follow. Thanks for this perspective. I needed the reminder.

    By the way, I LOVE your new blog! Very clever and creative. I would love to follow along when you go private.


  5. wow, lori. I would love to sit and have coffee (ok, juice) with you. Marriage is gritty and tough and sweaty and brutal, and yet the best and most valuable thing I have ever done. here I am in my later 30s, and finally, finally, learning that love has so little to do with what I thought it did "love of pen and movie endings, leaves out the break leaves out the bend..isn't love"..(sara groves). God has been so amazing to us in pulling us thru the grit and grime and showing us just how beautiful one-fleshedness can be, what it is MEANT to be. Great post. darci :)


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